Obama’s Secret Identity

Quote of the Day: 

In response to Bush’s attack on Obama at Knesset.

“This can only mean one thing, folks… The American Senator who wanted to talk to Hitler back in 1939 was in fact…Barack Obama! He’s not just a secret Muslim. He’s a time-traveling, Nazi Muslim!” — Stephen Colbert, Colbert Report (around 2:30 mark) 

 

Top 6 reasons why I am addicted to the Democratic soap-drama

I am sure there are plenty of people bored by the election spectacle. I am not one of them. Here’s a list and it explains everything.

1. Barack Obama → I like him. I like him a looottt. I’ll do a ‘why he is the awesomest’ post one of these days.

2. Hillary Clinton→  I am convinced she has lost her mind. Everytime she describes that waitress who works 60 hours a week, with 3 kids and who donated $50 to her campaign… I squirm. Watching a loosing candidate asking for more money from her poor/working-class whitefolk base, knowing full well she has no feasible chance of winning. It’s too ethically hollow to not watch.

3. “It’s so bad, it’s about to get good” — Jon Stewart, Daily Show→ It is pretty great to be excited about candidates again. And not in the spine-chilling, oh-my-god-bush-might-win way.  It’s boring to be a hard-core Democrat. I am way too brown to vote Republican. I can’t be a pro-life/pro-Iraq war/anti-immigrant voter. The primaries are the only place where we must make a more-than-peripheral assessment of the candidate. And even then, usually by this time of the year, it doesn’t matter. Nobody cares that you still support Howard Dean. It’s Kerry we like now.

Obama was supposed to be the Wesley Clark of 2008.  And he’s not. This rocks my world.  

Despite what you might be hearing, it is very very cool that a state like West Virginia (tiny, poor, rural) matter (well, not really, but still). When has West Virginia’s primaries ever been covered? 

4. Racism and Sexism → These two things are definately not cool. However, having race and gender be a critical component of the national election is. For far too long, it has been too easy for our presidential candidates to slip into platitudes and cheesy truisms when talking about black people, women, minorities.

The rulebook has been flung out the window. We have to watch Reverend Wright’s sermon, listen to white people discuss Black Obama and have talk show hosts call Clinton a whore… and be outraged, upset, amused.  Whatever your reaction, they are no longer confined to university liberal arts classes, brown people,  feminists, and the political correctness police. Everyone throws in their two cents. It’s all very very wonderfully messy.      

5. Mathematics → Counting is cool again. Otherwise you are that 11-yr-old kid who sold his bike because he didn’t understand delegate arithmetic.  I have learned the following pieces of information that I did not know before April. The rules for the Republicans and the Democratic primaries are different. Super-delegates don’t normally matter, but sometimes they do…which is why we have them? The democrats don’t have a “winner takes all”, it all depends on district or county or something.  States can just decide to hold primaries whenever they want, as long as they don’t care if their votes don’t count.

6. Youtube → It’s  like  television  you  can  type  on.

 

Rich urban senators

Quote of the Day: (Via Daily Dish)

“Poor, rural, working-class white folks in Appalachia didn’t vote for the rich urban former law professor senator from Chicago. They went for the rich urban former law professor senator born in Chicago instead. But since the vote went so overwhelmingly in one direction rather than the other, and rich urban former law professor senators with Chicago ties are otherwise largely interchangeable, there has to be another controlling factor here. I can’t think what it might be, though. Maybe it will come to me if I think about it.

Oh, wait, I know now. Poor, rural, working-class white folks from Appalachia wanted to strike a blow for feminism. ” - John Scalzi.

What? I say, WHAT?!!

According to the Washington Post:

The U.S. government has injected hundreds of foreigners it has deported with dangerous psychotropic drugs against their will to keep them sedated during the trip back to their home country, according to medical records, internal documents and interviews with people who have been drugged. (more)

And in case there were any doubts:

Involuntary chemical restraint of detainees, unless there is a medical justification, is a violation of some international human rights codes. (more)

Why are we hearing about this now? After nearly a decade of the Department of Homeland Security? Why was there more hype with librarians and violations of privacy laws?
 

Rent a Negro

I was totally staring at this guy while Hillary was talking last night, trying to psycho-analyze him through the television. (Did the white people try to cold-knock him out? What’s up with the gloves? Is he scared right now? ).

 So who’s that black man with the boxing gloves who’s appeared at least twice at Clinton’s victory speeches? See him below at HillaryClinton.com, appearing at her victory speech in Pennsylvania: … and again in West Virginia. (more)

Rent-a-negro still in business, people.

How bad is your wife?

Marital Rating Scale from 1939. Wife’s Chart. Is it wrong that I think these are delightful? Particularly these sins for which you get points taken off:

1. Slow in coming to bed–delays till husband is almost asleep.

5. Wears red nail polish.

and my favoritest..

9.  Puts her cold feet on husband at night to warm them.

(Via Daily Dish)

Update: Yes, there is a Husband Scale. And it’s kind of great. (Via Mind Hacks). My absolute favoritest-est? Earn yourself 20 Merit Points by…

38. Ardent Lover–sees that wife has orgasm in marital congress.  

Happiest Gay Couple

(Via Andy). This is awesome. Check out the Happiest Gay Couple in the World.

Quote of the Day:

“You know I’d die if you’d die.”

“Promise.”

“No.. But I’d always be a little dead on the inside.”

 

 

Go Read these

Excerpt from “Let Them Eat Arugula” by Jonathan Chait

The dying days of the Hillary Clinton campaign have brought the breathtaking spectacle of a candidate lashing out at every element of public life that has nourished her career. The über-wonk has disparaged economists and expertise. The staunch ally of black America has attacked her opponent for lacking support of “working, hard-working Americans, white Americans.” People who thought they knew Hillary Clinton have gazed in astonishment: What has she become? The answer is, a conservative populist. (more)

 
Sullivan’s withering take on Clinton and black voters.

Flummoxed by this young, charismatic pretender to their dynastic throne, they made a fateful decision: not to compete aggressively for black votes, but to push Obama into the “black candidate” box and leverage white ethnic and Hispanic support instead. And as the Clintons’ losses mounted, the hints became harder and harder to miss. (more)

 and isn’t this photograph of Clinton heart-stopping?  (Via Daily Dish)

Missing you

Went through my stars, and unstarred most of them. Time sensitive stuff. It hit me with a rush that it is past midnight and I missed hearing your voice today. I am debating whether or not to yank you out of your slumber to hear you slur the words, “hello putta, tell me.” Plaintive regret.

Muslims are funny

I am plugging my friend’s plug. And also ‘cuz it sounds cool. I saw the Axis of Evil show when their show came to DC years ago, and it was pretty great.

America at a Crossroads: Stand Up: Muslim American Comics Come of Age
Five Muslim-American comedians share their experiences.
Sunday, May 11, 10:00pm, on PBS show - check local listings
 
Other muslim comic shows include
- Make chai not war (with Funny Indian and Azhar Usman)
- Allah made me funny
- Axis of Evil Comedy Tour
- Vidhur Kapur (Gay Indian Comedy)

Just one question that will inevitably make many of you roll your eyes and “come on sony pony” at me. What’s up with this show airing on PBS (and not comedy central)?  Doesn’t it sound like one of those annoying “cultural experience” moments?  But regardless. It’s good stuff.