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Fucked up

November 26, 2010

These things happen in the world, I suppose. But this morning as I was waiting for our hotel room in Chennai, I couldn’t stand my impotence. The poor girl was gang-raped once, then gang-raped a second time by the same group of shit-fucks because they escaped a prison that was never gonna keep them in for long anyway.  They left her all bloody and half-dead by the railway tracks for her parents to find.

I wanted to do two things immediately. I wanted to somehow be able to go to Agra and hug her. Which I instantly realized would be creepy. As if she needs some strange, American girl to hug her and get stupid and weepy. Maybe I’d just pat her head.

The second thing I wanted to do, was to be able to find these men and kill them. Or at least hurt them. I am actually squeamish about murdering people (I’m all talk). Or maybe just glare at them and tell them they are bad people and that they should never have been born.

I finally settled on being really outraged at the use of the phrase “outraged her modesty” to describe the rape. Damn the writer of the article!

But since I was too lazy to do something like write to the paper, I decided to blog about it on my own blog. I wasn’t gonna link to the article originally, since that would mean I would have to find it online. And I was feeling lazy about that too. But then I thought – people should know! So I googled it. And realized stuff that I already sort of knew, but choose not to think about too much. That there are fucked up, creepy-as-hell stories everywhere. That this particular story is not particularly special or even all that uncommon. That people suffer horribly in this world and usually no-one cares. And if they do (care), there’s not much they can do about it.

This post is actually depressing me.  Am I making any difference? Does it matter at all? I have to believe that some tiny, little nudge somewhere is being pushed, don’t I?

I am sure if I could save children from getting raped, I would. I am certain that most people in the world would. But I am not that powerful, none of us are. We have to make do with what power we have and usually it’s just enough to deal with our own crap only.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. Thou permalink
    November 27, 2010 4:13 pm

    Yes u do make a difference… somewhere someone’s life is better because you have touched their lives one way or another.. … are thou holier than what are thee?

  2. November 29, 2010 1:22 pm

    *winks at above comment*

    Avenge. I can be Dexter and you be Lumen.

    • December 1, 2010 5:50 am

      Now who are Dexter and Lumen?

      • December 1, 2010 1:17 pm

        Dexter is a serial killer who only kills other serial killers. Lumen is a serial killer victim who got lucky and wants avenge her attackers. Debra is Dexter’s sister who, i think, will eventually kill Dexter.

        Life is strange.

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