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Phone calls from suck

September 28, 2011

My voice quavered the whole time, and in order to get the shivering in line, I lowered my voice to a deep drone that felt alien. It also had the unexpected effect of making it sound like I had barely bridled rage. Pulse racing, heart drumming, I ignore most conversational cues. I interrupt. I pause—oddly—by extending the last consonant of the last word I had uttered. I let out sudden breaths of air, so it sounds like I am running in short outbursts throughout our conversation. I had to remember to breathe when I should have been listening. I am aware of all of this.

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